It’s difficult this stillness thing
I want to move and shift
And do anything but, be still

I itch
I ache
I twitch
And groan

It has always been so
I always had to swing my legs
Waggle my feet
Stand if I sat
Sit if I stood

It’s difficult
This stillness thing
But I’m getting better
And I’m holding on
And I’m breathing……..

Sometimes
My days are broad, and long
With jittery bits
Spiking through the treacly surface

Sometimes
My days are narrow and short
With smooth waves
Crashing on the rocks
Like my thoughts

Sometimes
My days are meaningless nothing
Without spikes, troughs
Or waves
Null and void
Like treading water

It’s amazing
How,
A day can change
From the heaven sent sun
To drenching
Miserable
Life giving rain

It’s amazing how
The human mind
Can flit from joy
To despair
In a heartbeat
A heartbeat……
A heartbeat……

It’s amazing how
Things can turn
In the beat of a butterfly’s wing
Towards light
And hope again
Towards truth
And hope again……

It’s amazing how
At the turn of the moon
Angels can come
And pour stardust
On the most fragile dreams
Before they are dashed
To the rocks below
For eternity

It’s amazing………….

Russet, pink, and blood red skies
Connections raw and sweet
Tears and triumphs
Quiet contemplation
And deepening
Of self, and others

Grief laden sheep
Their cries far into the night
Full of loss and pain
Hard to bear
But bear it we must
We mothers, who gave life
Then had to say goodbye

Peaceful grass
Where it had been
Flattened, then drenched
Becoming springy and warm
With the blazing sun
To lie and embrace upon
All things, all things, are there
In that certain field in Derbyshire